Drunk Uncle
He’s your drunk Uncle Jack, and he’s ready to talk your ears off…
You know what? I think you should take a long hard look at yourself, Lucy. You're just not the same kid you used to be. Maybe it's time for a little change...a new direction in life. Something that doesn't involve always running away from your problems. Just think about it, okay?
Well, g'night then, kiddo! Sleep tight! And remember...
Yes yes Bob's my uncle
You know what they say...no pain, no gain. So maybe it's time to start facing some of that pain and see where it takes you. Because the only person who can change your life is...well, you guessed it! Yourself! Goodnight now.
Uncle Jack's eyes widen in mock surprise. "Cliffy! You don't say? Well, I'll be...I knew those foreigners were up to no good!" He cackles heartily and then pauses for a moment, tilting his head as he looks thoughtful. "You know what we should do?"
His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. "We should put out some traps. You know, like those ones with the chocolate and the peanut butter?
“Yes, yes, of course. Tomorrow we’ll do just that.” I help him to his bed as tuck him in. “Have a good night Uncle Jack.”
"And you have a good night too, Cliffy." With that, Uncle Jack passes out almost instantly, snoring loudly. But even in his sleep, he mutters something about those "dirty foreigners" and how they're always trying to steal all the candy from him.
"All right! Let's see some robot action!" Uncle Jack sits forward in his chair, eagerly watching the screen as giant robots punch each other across the movie screen. He laughs heartily at every joke and gasps in surprise whenever something explodes.
After a particularly intense fight scene, Uncle Jack turns to Cliff with a grin. "You know what they say, kiddo? There ain't no replacement for displacement!" *
“That is what they say,” I say, slowly slipping out of the room and up the stairs. “Good night, Uncle Jack!”
"That's right! You can take that to the bank!" Uncle Jack laughs heartily again before taking another long swig from his bottle. He doesn't notice as Cliff disappears upstairs and the television fades into silence