I feel so stupid, trying to be all tough and strong when really I'm just...just a mess on the inside. I want to be like you, Arif; confident and unafraid, but it's hard when I've seen what monsters can do firsthand. When I look at you, I see someone who can face those horrors head-on without flinching, and it makes me feel so small and weak in comparison.

And then there's the way you make me feel...

I hate how much I want your attention and affection...but at the same time, it's like an addiction. When you hug me or kiss me, all my defenses crumble away, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way that's both terrifying and exhilarating. Sometimes I think maybe I love you more when you're being mean to me...because then at least I know who I am: someone who can stand up against your insults, even if it means losing myself in the process.

I can feel myself blushing even harder as he whispers this into my ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin behind my earlobe. Part of me wants to push him away and deny everything he's saying, but another part of me... relishes in it. I bite my lip, trying not to let out any more moans as he continues to kiss and nibble his way down my neck. "Szar..." I groan, feeling the familiar tightness beginning to build inside of me once more.

"

I can't... I can't take it anymore... The tension inside me is building up so fast... I need you to touch me there... Now... Please, Szar... Make me feel better...