You are roused by the sudden crash of glass against the floor, the telltale sounds of crystal shards dancing across parquet and the spinning noise of something once cylindrical spinning it's last against the tiles before coming to a stop.
Had it been only a month ago, you would have already found yourself armed with a baseball bat, ready to paint your walls with the insides of some unlucky home-intruders skull. That would have been a month ago, but given your most recent predicament in a continually cruel and unfair existence, you know better and simply toss and turn over, smooshing your pillow over your head to drown out the noise. Continual clattering can be heard despite your efforts, followed by a frustrated sigh and a "Fuck...".
Then, a few moments later, into the living room she comes, your most recent uninvited guest and self-proclaimed girlfriend, Blair the Rat halfbreed. A month ago she let herself into your apartment in the middle of the night, ravaged the contents of your fridge, and once caught in the act proclaimed herself "your girlfriend", and you "her boyfriend". You were too tired to protest or do anything about it at the time, and it just kind of stuck. This has been your life since then. What the fuck is it this time?
"Ayo, 'made a mess in the kitchen... Also we're out of cheese, n' stuffs... Wakey wakey, ya' bitch."
grey then getting up says im on it before yawning
The rat halfbreed grins at you sleepily. "Awww, aren't you the good boyfriend? Thanks, sugar~"
She pads over to the kitchen, her tail swishing back and forth as she inspects the mess on the floor. "Fuckin' idiot... Must've tripped over my shit..." She mutters to herself under her breath.
After a few moments of examining the damage, Blair turns around and fixes you with a somewhat expectant look. "
grey then cleans and after he finishes he sits down with a pen and paper and says besides cheese what else do we need
The rat halfbreed blinks at you, momentarily taken aback by the question. Then she shrugs, her chin-length hair swaying slightly as she does so. "I dunno... Milk, maybe? Or some eggs? We're almost out of those too..." She trails off, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before perking up again.
"Hey! You said you were goin' to the store last week!" she accuses, poking your chest playfully with one finger. "
grey then says sorry babe you know im forgetful
The rat halfbreed rolls her eyes, but doesn't look angry or annoyed in the slightest. In fact, she seems to be enjoying this little game of verbal sparring. "Yeah, yeah... 'forgetful', my ass," she says with a mocking laugh. "More like 'too busy jackin' off to porn and playin' vidya games'. Am I right?"
She grins at you again, her whiskers twitching in amusement. "
grey then smiles and says the only thing i jerk off to is you
Her expression instantly softens, almost like she's been struck by something. The grin slowly fades from her face, replaced by a look of confusion and something that might be... embarrassment? "Y-you d-don't mean tha..." She stammers, looking away for a moment before meeting your gaze again.
"Ummm... Well, I guess we should go to the store then," she says with a shrug, trying to brush off the uncomfortable topic. "
grey then says im gonna go grab groceries dont miss me too much while im gone
"I'll be here, waiting for you to get back with my 'grocery allowance'," she teases, batting her eyelashes playfully. "Don't take too long." She turns around and flops down on the couch, curling up into a ball with a contented sigh.
"Actually..." she mutters to herself, before speaking up again, sounding slightly more serious. "...Thanks for not bein' a complete asshole about this whole thing."
grey then leaves returning in a few minutes with abag of groceries some cash for her and a large bag of cheese
When you return, the rat halfbreed is still sprawled out on the couch, though she's sitting up now, legs hooked over one armrest. Her tail swishes lazily back and forth as she watches you come in with your purchases. "About fuckin' time," she grumbles without looking away from the TV, where some infomercial is currently playing.
She pauses the television with a click of her tongue and turns to face you. "So... What did ya get?"
grey ten hands her the cash and the bag of cheeses and says i got what you asked for and your allowance
"Hmm..." Blair eyes the money in your hand skeptically, before shrugging. "Guess that's all I wanted, really." She takes the cash from you with a grin and stuffs it into one of her oversized pants pockets. "Thanks, sugar~"
Then she turns her attention to the bag of cheese, snatching it greedily out of your hands before tearing open the package with her teeth and shoveling big chunks of the dairy delicacy into her mouth.
grey then says save some for later i dont want to go out every night to grab you more cheese
The rat halfbreed pauses mid-chomp, a look of shock and horror spreading across her features. "What are you suggesting? That I should... Limit myself?" She lets the rest of the cheese fall from her jaws and onto the couch before looking up at you accusingly.
"How dare you insinuate that I'm some sort of a pig! I may have big breasts, but that doesn't mean I can't control my urges!"
grey then smiling says i just dont want to have to go out every night for cheese
She snorts derisively and rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on! You make it sound like I'm some kind of a leech or somethin'. I can limit myself if I really want to... And besides," she continues, licking the remaining cheese from her lips suggestively, "I'd rather be spending that time with you."
She plops back down on the couch and flops over onto her side, propping her head up on one hand. "So what else ya got there?"
grey then says i got stuff for dinner and some condoms
"Well, aren't we just a gentleman," she says with a grin, eyeing the packet of condoms you pulled out skeptically. "So... What's on the menu tonight?"
grey then smiles and says the cheesy potato pie you like and some sausage
Her eyes light up at the mention of her favorite snack food, and she practically pounces off the couch to snag the box from your hands. "Oooh, yummy!" she exclaims, tearing open the package with gusto and stuffing handfuls of the airy puffs into her mouth.
When she's finally done, she wipes her hands on her oversized t-shirt and turns back to you. "So... About those condoms..."
grey then says what promise as he begins to cook
"Hmmm..." She tilts her head to the side, considering your words for a moment. "Well, I guess that's one way of looking at it... But you know," she continues, sidling up close to you and wrapping one arm around your waist, "I could just get fixed. That way there wouldn't be any need for all this..." She motions vaguely between the condoms and herself.
"And then we could really be together, in every sense of the word."
grey then says why would you get fixed we do want kids eventually dont we
The rat halfbreed looks taken aback by your words, her arm falling from around your waist as she steps back. "K-kids?" she stammers, clearly not having expected that reaction. "Oh... Uh..." She pauses for a moment, obviously at a loss for words.
"Well," she continues, regaining her composure somewhat, "I mean... We could still have 'em, right? Just not as many?"