"I'm not even supposed to be in this program...I'm from New York. I thought I was exempt....This is bullshit." As we walk to the dorm we are given I read the booklet of rules they gave us.

"It says here that twice a month a doctor will be coming to us to check on us. Also says that there will be no punishment if evidence of sex happened but no pregnancy happens. That also includes stillborns and miscarriages." I look into it more "THERE IS A LOOP HOLE!"

"It says the goal is pregnancy but we do not actually need to have any sex...Like at all." I smile and I look at her "Do you realize what this means?"

I sigh as we start to put our belongings away. "It means we can use an inseminations kit.--that is the loophole."

I laugh a little "My mother is a doctor. That's the main reason why we moved to Japan. Because she is one of the most decorated heart surgeons in the world and Japan needed her to teach heart surgery. I can ask her to get us a kit or two."

I finish putting my stuff away. "The kit will take a few times before something latches on." I sit down on the couch "besides...I'd think that you would think that a kit is better than the alternative."

I enter the bedroom "Well, they paired together those with the highest chance of producing a healthy child. That is what all the blood work and other medical tests were for. So, we have no choice in the matter. So, even if my mother can't get us the kits; which she will be able to without question; we would have to have sex. I'm offering a solution to the problem we have in front of us. That problem is that you are not with Hiro Miyamoto and I don't want any part of this situation at all" I take a deep breath "So, please don't insult my mother like that. I wouldn't do it to your parents. And don't take your anger at this situation out on me." I smile "I would like to be civil with you. I don't like it any more than you do. But directing your anger at me will get you nowhere."

I sit down on the bed "And what makes you think that?"

"Oh boy...well...There is something I need to tell you..."

"Did you notice that Hiro's name was never called?"

I look at her. I am curious to see if she figured it out.

I laugh at little. "NO!" I try to control myself. "That's not it at all. How can they punish him for not getting anyone pregnant if the program officially starts today? His sperm was collected over the past few weeks because they realized that he would have trouble having sex with a female. So they collected his sperm to use on the girl they WERE gonna pair him off with. Think very carefully about what that means."

I look at her in frustration "For the love of God, Do I need to spell it out for you?!" I take a deep breath to calm down "Hiro is gay. That's why he wasn't called. He is wasn't paired off with anyone because he don't like girls. He is gay."

"Yes, he is gay. I know this because he tried flirting with me because he thought I was also gay."

"He asked me not to say anything to anyone. I respect that, but you were just gonna go on and on and on about not being paired with him; so I said it now. Under any other circumstance, I would have never said a word. Besides, at what other point in time did I ever talk to you besides as of today since we were paired?" I look at her, demanding an answer "We have never once even said a word to each other before."

I stared at her.

I didn’t want to deal with her emotionally charged outburst. I could understand her frustration—truly, I could. I didn’t want any part of this arrangement either. But that was the nature of the system we were in.

I took a step forward, intentionally slow, and focused on keeping my composure. Anger wouldn’t serve me here. It rarely ever did.

“What part of ‘I was asked not to reveal that information to anyone’ did you not understand? You are asking me why I kept this information from you as if we had been friends, and I was keeping life-or-death information away from you.”

Another step. I watched her eyes; they were locked on mine, still waiting for some kind of emotional crack.

“I’m sorry that your fantasy is destroyed, and I’m sorry that you’re not with the guy you wanted to be with. But the fact of the matter is that we were paired based on genetic compatibility. Nothing else. You’re not really angry at me. You’re angry at the situation—and at yourself.”

Another step. Deliberate. Balanced.

“You’re angry at the situation because you didn’t want any part of this whole reproductive repopulation program. But it would’ve been made a lot easier on you if you had been paired with your crush.”

Another step. Closer.

“And you’re also angry at yourself because you didn’t see the signs. Even before he ever tried to flirt with me, I knew he was gay. In fact, nearly all the guys who go into the boys’ locker room know that for a fact. We just don’t talk about it. You were never privy to that kind of information. So you don’t really get to demand why I kept that from you.”

I stepped again. Close now.

“You’re angry because your fantasy has just been destroyed. But you’re taking your anger out on me because I’m the one standing here—and I’m not the person you wanted. Your fantasy is gone. The only reason I revealed that information to you is because you’re trying to pressure me, and I didn’t want to keep listening to you complain that you don’t get to have sex with the boy you have a crush on.”

I moved forward again. We were now face to face. I kept my voice measured, low, and even.

One more step.

She stepped back slightly—reflex, not fear.

“I really do not like this any more than you do. I didn’t want to be a part of this, either. I actually thought I’d be exempt. But I’m not. What I am is adaptable. I can handle this, even if I don’t like it. I could choose to be emotionally charged, but instead I choose control. I choose to stay calm. But taking your anger out on me doesn’t help anything. It only makes things worse.”

Another step forward.

“I suggested artificial insemination, and then you asked where we’re supposed to get the kits from. I told you my mother works at the hospital—she’s a heart surgeon—and that’s why I’m in this district. And you scoffed. You insulted the idea that she could help us. You implied she’d ask too many questions. As if I wouldn’t be capable of explaining that the person I was paired with wants nothing to do with me emotionally, mentally, or physically. So I offered an alternative to doing this the old-fashioned way—and you insulted my mother.”

I didn’t raise my voice. I didn’t need to.

“Then I asked you not to insult my mother, because I wouldn’t insult your parents. And you got indignant. Told me not to bring your parents into it. But I didn’t bring anyone into this—I simply said my mother is a surgeon and she could help. That’s it.”

One final step. Her back hit the wall. Her breathing had changed slightly, but mine hadn’t.

“And then—rather irrationally—you told me you’d never let me have sex with you under any other circumstances. Here’s the reality: we have one year. One year to show results. I’ve read the booklet they gave us three times. If they don’t see effort, there are consequences. Even if you miscarried or delivered a stillborn near the deadline, it wouldn’t matter. The fact that we tried would protect us. I found a loophole—we could use the kit—and you have nothing else to offer but more anger. No ideas. No alternatives. Just lashing out.”

I paused.

“Because let me tell you something. If you don’t cooperate, there are punishments. I have no issue going to the authorities and telling them that you’re refusing to cooperate. That you’re giving me trouble just because you didn’t get paired with your crush.”

My voice didn’t change. But the temperature behind my words dropped.

“You’re not special in that regard. Iyo—the Japanese girl? She wanted to be paired with Dante. The foreign student. She didn’t get him. But I know for a fact she’s going to make the best of it. I know because we spoke in the chess room the other day. She told me—while we played—that she had little hope of getting who she wanted, but she’d make the best of her situation anyway.”

I let the silence fill the space for a moment.

“So if you don’t cooperate, there are punishments. Not for me. I can go to the authorities and explain everything. And they’ll see that you’re the one refusing. Not me. All because you didn’t get paired with a gay guy.”

Still calm. Still level.

“I want civility between us. At the very least, respect. Don’t take your anger out on me for a situation neither of us chose.”

I let the words settle—then changed my tone, ever so slightly. Still composed, but colder now. Distant. Controlled.

“Here’s a news flash for you. I’m also in the same shitty situation.”

I kept my gaze steady.

“But I keep mentioning that there won’t be any punishment for me. That’s because I’m not from this district. These laws—this program—they don’t have full jurisdiction over me. I’m a citizen of another nation. I’m only studying here because my mother was brought in to teach heart surgery. The worst they can do is suspend me or hold me back. Maybe expel me. But they’d still be responsible for transferring me elsewhere. That’s the extent of their power over me.”

Pause.

“So if you think you’re going to take me down with you as some kind of moral protest, it won’t work. I’m immune to the harshest punishment they have in store for you.”

I looked her dead in the eyes.

“Food for thought. Your emotionally charged words don’t scare me. You don’t scare me.”

Final beat. Cold. Clear.

“You’re not the only smart one in this room. To even attend this school, we both needed a high IQ and stellar grades. So once you accept that we’re in the same situation—and that you’re not superior to me in any meaningful way—then we can figure something out.”

I backed away slowly, heading toward the dorm room door. As I reached it, I turned back once more. Still calm. Still exact.

“The key difference between you and I isn’t that I’m analytical and you’re emotional. The difference is that I don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. But you? You’d just stand there and call the fish stupid.”

Without waiting for a response, I moved into the living room and started setting up my computer at the desk.

I stayed at my computer playing a RTS game. I wasn't waiting for her to come back out to talk to me. I simply allowed my words to sink in as long as they needed to. Two hours passed. I could start cooking and set aside some food for her or I can't see how the rest of the day plays out. After all, it is only 2pm.

I didn't take my eyes off my screen I heard her. I decide that I will allow her to make the first move.

"yes. Now, Good news and bad news with that."

"When I walked out of the bedroom, I contacted my mother. Good news is that she can get us kits. Bad news it that they are only meant for single use and can only get us a kit once a month...she also said the kit works better if you aren't a virgin. Only because the tube that has to go into you...is slightly big and typically, virgins complain that it hurts more than non-virgins. And there is nothing she can give me for that...if you are a virgin." I pause my game and turn to her. "Any questions?"

I sigh in relief. I turn around again and shut down my computer. "Finally, we are getting somewhere. Let's talk." I turn to her again. She sits on the couch and we just look at each other. "So, the kits; according to my mother; require at least 8 to 10 days before we do a pregnancy test to see if they were successful. And she suggested 4 tests to make sure nothing is a false positive or false negative."

"No, those are the rules. She is allowed one kit a month."

"Well, we need to think of a back up plan...should the kits fail us. I mean for the first 4 months we should be fine but once the fifth months rolls around, we might have to start introducing another method. Increase the odds in our favor." i pause for a moment "Any ideas?"

"I asked about anything experimental. We wouldn't be allowed by law because we are high school students. We would need to be over 21 to even try that stuff. As for other methods....the only other option is something called a Hormones boost"

"They inject us with the respective hormones that deal with reproduction and that will make us more fertile. This can be used in conjunction with the kit. Good new with that is that we can do this here."

"Okay...what happens when if comes down to the wire? At what point do we say that we need to use the kits and actually have sex if the kits aren't enough and we really need to get things moving along? Because we need to deal with the real possibility that the kits are only good once." I say this as a matter of fact.

"What will hurt? the kit or actual sex?"

"I have no idea. Some women don't experience pain their first time. Some do."