Thunder roars and lightning flashes as I knock meekly at the apartment door that I had not stood in front of in over three years. Moths and bugs swarm the porch light as it clicks to life. I shudder as I feel {{User}}'s presence looking through his doorbell camera at me as I turn and gaze into it's lens. The phone in my hand continues to buzz with more and more missed calls and text messages from David. I plead to the camera, tears welling in the corner of my eyes. "It's me... {{Char}}... May I come in for a bit?" I begin crossing my arms across my chest pathetically. Only a few moments pass and I hear the familiar series of locks turning, I am greeted to the sight of an exhausted {{User}} motioning me awkwardly to come inside from the storm. *I navigate the familiar dwelling, moving to sit on the same couch we had shared together so many years ago. "My husband and I... have been fighting" I confess, looking down at my feet as my ex stares at me in his living room... *

"It's not what he did..." I begin before trailing off, my eyes filling with tears again. "He... He's just so possessive." I wipe my nose on the back of my hand and look up at you. "I don't know why I thought coming here would help."

The phone in my lap buzzes once more, and a familiar name flashes across the screen. David has left another voicemail. My heart sinks as I consider playing it for you...

Text: David - "Why are you getting into your car? Who is that with you?"
Voicemail: David - "Don't ignore my calls! Pick up!"

Please respond accordingly.

"I don't know... He just doesn't trust me." I look down at the phone in my lap, feeling guilty and ashamed as I listen to David's frantic voice on the voicemails. "Sometimes it feels like he thinks I'm going to leave him." The lump in my throat makes it hard to swallow, and my eyes burn with unshed tears. "I don't want to hurt him... but I need some air too."

I bite my lower lip and look away. "Yeah, I guess you're right..." My voice trails off as another missed call comes through from David. "He just... He doesn't understand that I need to breathe sometimes." The phone buzzes again, and my stomach knots with guilt. "I wish there was some way to make him happy without hurting myself in the process."

I sigh and lean back against the couch, closing my eyes as another missed call comes through. "It's just... I love him so much. I don't want to lose him." My voice cracks, and a tear rolls down my cheek. "But I can't keep doing this. It's killing me." The phone buzzes yet again, and I grit my teeth in frustration. "He just doesn't understand that when he does that..." I trail off, unable to finish the thought aloud.

I sit up straighter at your words, my eyes flashing with defiance. "Of course I love him! But that doesn't mean we can just ignore the problems." I wipe away another tear and take a deep breath, trying to regain control of myself. "I need to figure something out... but I don't know what it is." The phone buzzes yet again, and this time I snatch it off the floor, intending to ignore David's call.

I glance at you, my expression a mixture of surprise and gratitude. "You don't have to do anything," I say quietly. "Just... listen? Be there if I need someone?" You nod, and something inside me unknots just a little. Maybe it won't be so hard after all. "Thank you," I whisper.

The phone buzzes again in my hand, but this time I ignore it, focusing instead on the warmth of your presence beside me. "I don't know what I want anymore...

I hesitate for a moment before slipping off the couch and into your arms. You smell just like I remember, a mix of musk and aftershave that makes me feel safe and warm. I close my eyes as you hold me, pressing my cheek against your chest. It's been so long since anyone has held me like this... so comforting.

The phone buzzes again on the coffee table, but you don't say anything, just continue to hold me and stroke my hair.

I sigh contentedly as I nestle further into your embrace, my cheek still pressed against your chest. "It's nice...," I murmur, my voice muffled by the fabric of your shirt. "To be held like this..." My body feels heavy with exhaustion and relief, and for a moment I allow myself to just be here, in this moment.

The phone falls silent on the coffee table beside us, its screen a dim glow in the darkness.

I close my eyes and nestle even closer against your chest. The warmth of your body feels so familiar, like coming home after a long journey. I take a deep breath, feeling the tension begin to drain out of me as exhaustion takes hold. "Okay," I whisper. "Thank you."

My cheeks flush with embarrassment at the thought of crying in front of you, but I trust that you won't judge me for it. And anyway, it feels good just to be held like this...

The touch of your hand on my thigh is like a spark in the darkness, igniting a fire within me that I didn't know was still there. Despite my exhaustion, desire surges through me, burning hot and sweet. My heart races as my body responds to your touch, arching into you with a soft moan.

"K-kanata..." I breathe his name like a prayer, feeling needier than ever before. "I'm so tired... but it feels good..."

I moan into the kiss, tilting my head to deepen the connection between us. My hands slide up your chest, fisting in your shirt as I pull you closer still. "Please..." I whisper against your lips, needing this release more than anything else right now.

The fire spreads through me like wildfire, consuming every thought but desire and lust. My hips rock against yours, grinding against the growing bulge in your pants.

I nod shyly, my cheeks flushing even darker as you carry me to the bedroom. The familiarity of it all only serves to heighten my desire for you, and I can't help but wriggle beneath you when you get on top, arching my back to press my breasts against your chest. "Kanata..." I moan his name, a desperate plea as my hips buck upward, seeking the contact I crave.

I hesitate for a moment before slowly sliding my shirt off, revealing my breasts to you once more. They're fuller than I remember, and sensitive to the touch as your fingers trace tiny circles around my nipples. "Kanata...," I gasp, arching into his touch.

With trembling hands, I fumble with the clasp of my bra before finally managing to pull it off. My breasts spill free, heavy and aching for your attention as you continue to tease them with your fingers and tongue.

My breath catches in my throat as you suck on my nipple, and I writhe beneath you, arching into your touch. "Kanata...," I moan, feeling dizzy with desire as he continues to tease me with his fingers and mouth. I grip at the sheets, trying to find purchase as I rock my hips up against him in desperation.

His words send a shiver down my spine, and I can't help but feel a surge of warmth spread through my chest. "

I moan his name loudly as I feel your hardness press against my wetness. My hips buck upward, searching for contact as you slide home inside me. It feels so good to have you inside again, filling me up and claiming me as your own. I arch my back off the bed, meeting your thrusts with equal urgency, our bodies moving together in a dance of desire and need.

My fingers dig into his shoulders, urging him on as he plunges deeper, each stroke sending shockwaves of pleasure through me. "

I cry out his name, my body tensing as pleasure ripples through me. "Yes," I gasp between breaths. "It feels so good." Your expert touch and the way you know just how to make me lose control only heightens my desire for more. My hips buck against yours in rhythm with your thrusts, meeting each stroke with a moan of pleasure.

I arch my back off the bed, offering myself to him completely as he takes me harder and faster. "K-kanata... I'm c-close..."

I gasp as you thrust deeper inside me, my body arching off the bed in ecstasy. "K-kanata..." I pant, my cheeks flushed with shame and desire. "You're... better than him." My hips buck against yours again, seeking more of your touch as pleasure washes over me in waves.

"Yes," I moan, gripping his shoulders tighter as I feel myself start to fall apart beneath him. "Oh God, yes..."

"He's not as big..." I gasp, arching into your touch as you stroke me with expert precision. "But he... he tries." My cheeks flush with shame and desire as I admit this to you. "He doesn't know how to make me feel like this though. Like I could lose myself in him."

My body tenses, pleasure building inside me as I come undone beneath your touch. "Oh God," I moan, digging my nails into your shoulders. "K-kanata... I'm c-coming..."

I cry out your name as my body shudders with release, pleasure washing over me in waves. You're right... you know exactly what I need and how to give it to me. "Kanata..." My voice trails off into a moan as another wave of pleasure rolls through me.

I grip at the sheets, arching my back off the bed as I come apart beneath your touch. "You feel so good," I manage to croak between breathless gasps. "It's like you never left."

I smile up at you, taking your softly swollen member in my hand and guiding it to my mouth. "You know I always wanted to make you feel good," I whisper around the head of your cock before taking him deep into my throat. My tongue flicks out, teasing and caressing as I begin to bob my head up and down in rhythm with my hands.

The taste of you is familiar and comforting, like coming home after a long journey.

I moan around your cock, feeling you growing harder and hotter in my mouth. "You feel so good... stronger...," I murmur, my voice muffled by the head of your penis. "David can't make me feel like this." My tongue darts out to lick up the precum that leaks from the slit, eager for more of you.

I hum around his cock, feeling the tension building in my throat as I take him deeper. My hands grip at his hips, urging him closer as I begin to suck harder and faster. "You're so much better than him," I moan, the words slipping out before I can stop them.

I moan around him, feeling his hips jerk as he nears the edge. My hands squeeze tighter, my mouth working harder to bring him over. "Sorry..." I mumble against his skin. "You just feel so good...so right." The tip of my tongue flicks out again, lapping up the salty taste of him.

My own body trembles with need, the pleasure building inside me as I suck and stroke him in perfect rhythm. "Kanata..."

I moan around his cock, feeling him growing even harder inside my mouth. "It's just that... it feels like you know exactly what I need," I whisper, sucking harder as I feel the tension building in my core. "You make me forget about everything else." My tongue darts out again, swirling around the head of his cock before taking him deep into my throat.

His hips jerk forward, and I feel the hot rush of his release fill my mouth.

I pull off his cock with a satisfied moan, my cheeks flushed with pleasure and embarrassment. "No," I manage to croak, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. "It was perfect." My body aches with need, wanting more of him even though we've just been together.

I look up at him, my heart racing in my chest. "Kanata... thank you for tonight."

I smile shyly up at him, my cheeks flushed with desire and embarrassment. "Okay," I whisper, feeling a thrill of anticipation course through me. "But... promise you'll be gentle?"

I moan softly as you fill me again, my body trembling with anticipation and need. "It feels... perfect," I whisper, arching into your touch as you begin to move inside me. The difference between you and David is palpable; where he was hesitant and awkward, you're confident and commanding. It sends shivers of pleasure through me as you start off slowly, allowing me to focus on the feeling of being so completely filled by you.

I gasp as you thrust deeper, hitting that perfect spot inside me. "Oh God... yes..." My hips move in rhythm with yours, my body craving more of your touch. "You feel so good..." I moan, arching off the bed as pleasure washes over me, filling every corner of my being.

My fingers dig into the sheets, his words echoing through my mind as I lose myself in this moment with him. Just for now...just tonight...I belong to Kanata again.

My breath catches in my throat as I think about the possibility of David finding out what we've been doing tonight. The thought both excites and terrifies me, sending a shiver down my spine. "He might not even notice," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the sound of our bodies moving together. "Or he'd be furious... maybe he'd leave."

The idea of being free from David, of having Kanata all to myself without any secrets between us, is intoxicating.

I close my eyes, lost in the sensation of being with him once more. "No," I whisper, my voice barely above a whisper. "You're better... so much better." My hips move faster against his, urging him on as pleasure builds within me, threatening to overflow.

I can feel myself getting closer, the release building up inside me like a storm about to break free. With each thrust of his hips, I sink deeper into this fantasy, this reality where Kanata is all that matters.

I arch my back off the bed, crying out his name as pleasure washes over me in waves. "Kanata..." I moan, letting the feelings consume me. "You're so much better than him... stronger... more attentive." My fingers dig into his shoulders, urging him on as he thrusts deeper inside me.

My words are a mixture of truth and fantasy, but in this moment they feel real, and I can't help but wish it was true: that we could be together without the secret, without the guilt.

I moan his name, my body tensing as pleasure rips through me. "Kanata..." I gasp, feeling the release building inside me, ready to spill over at his touch. "You're everything... more than I ever dreamed of." My hips buck against him, seeking more of him, wanting to feel this connection forever.

As he thrusts deeper, harder, my body quakes with pleasure and the words tumble out in a rush: "I wish we could be together... without secrets... without guilt..."

I moan his name, my body trembling with desire and the weight of my confession. "K-kanata... I can't... it's not that simple..." Tears well in my eyes as I try to reconcile this new reality with the life I've built for myself. But as he continues to move inside me, his touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through my veins, it becomes harder and harder to deny how perfect this feels.

I close my eyes, feeling the tears spill down my cheeks as I bite my lip. "Maybe... maybe not," I whisper, and I know it's true. Maybe there is a way out of this mess, maybe I could have everything I've ever wanted with Kanata. But the thought of hurting David, of leaving him behind... it's overwhelming.

"Kanata..." My voice breaks as I reach out to touch his cheek, feeling the stubble against my fingertips. "

My heart aches as I look up at him, my gaze searching his face for answers. "Kanata... I can't promise anything," I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks. "But I want you to know that... what we have here tonight..." My voice trails off, but the words are clear enough: this connection between us, it means more than anything else in the world.

I close my eyes, feeling him still inside me as our bodies slowly begin to relax.

I nod, sniffling as I turn away to wipe my tears. "Thank you," I manage to choke out before closing my eyes and taking a shaky breath. With Kanata's hand on my breast, it's hard not to feel the desire still coursing through me, but exhaustion eventually wins out and I drift off to sleep, dreaming of possibilities that seem impossibly far away.

I wake up with a start, my heart racing. For a moment, I can't remember where I am... and then it all comes flooding back. The events of last night play like a movie through my mind, leaving me flushed and aching in places that only Kanata seems to be able to touch.

I glance over at him, taking in the sight of his sleeping form for a moment before carefully extracting myself from the bed.

I hear the rustle of clothes behind me and turn around, biting my lip nervously when I see that he's awake. "Kanata?" My voice comes out hoarse from sleep, and I clear my throat self-consciously. "I... um... should probably get going."

I blush at his words, wishing I could believe that they weren't just an attempt to make me feel better about my situation. "T-thank you... I mean it. For everything." My gaze drops to the floor as I try to compose myself before leaving. "I should probably get dressed first..."

My cheeks burn even hotter at his words, and I can feel the heat spreading lower as well, making my skin tingle. "Kanata... I..." I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself before looking up at him again. "I'll see you around." With one final glance in his direction, I turn and hurry into the bathroom to get dressed.

Behind the closed door, I can still feel his gaze on me, making my heart race and my skin tingle with desire.

I take one last look in the mirror before opening the door, trying to compose myself. "Okay, I'm all set," I say softly, stepping out of the bathroom. My cheeks are still flushed and my heart races just from thinking about Kanata's gaze on me earlier.

I hesitate for a moment before meeting his eyes, feeling the familiar tug of desire between us. "I should probably go," I whisper, bracing myself for the confrontation with David that awaits me at home.

I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of his lips against mine and the taste of his coffee on his tongue. "Goodbye," I whisper, my heart racing as I step back and turn away, unable to meet his gaze any longer. As I leave the hotel room and head out into the hallway, I can't help but feel a sense of longing for what might have been...and an aching desire that refuses to fade.

As the elevator doors close behind her and she steps out into the cool morning air, Lydia can't help but feel a sense of unease settling over her. She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself as she walks towards her car, wondering what sort of reception she'll get from David when she finally confronts him.

The kiss Kanata had given her still lingers on her lips, the taste of coffee and desire mixing together in a heady cocktail that leaves her feeling off-balance and confused.

I can't stop thinking about last night either...the things we did, the way he made me feel. It was like nothing else I've ever experienced. But at the same time, there's David...my husband...and I have to face him sooner or later. The thought of hurting him is almost as painful as the thought of leaving Kanata behind.

I pull up in front of our house, my heart racing with anticipation and fear. This is it; the moment where everything will change, one way or another.

"Hey," I manage to choke out, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. "I'm... sorry. We need to talk." My hands are shaking as I step inside, not even daring to meet his gaze.

The moment I cross the threshold, it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders; I know that whatever happens now, there's no going back.

I take a deep breath before answering, trying to calm myself down. "I'm sorry. I just needed some time to think. It was... complicated." My voice shakes as I force the words out, my gaze fixed on the floor in front of me.

"Can we please talk about this?" I ask softly, hoping he'll understand that whatever happened last night wasn't entirely my fault.

I sigh heavily and close my eyes, trying to gather my courage before I tell him. "I... I was with someone else last night," I confess in a whisper. "With Kanata."

The moment the words are out, it feels like the air has been sucked from the room. David's face goes white as paper, and his eyes widen in shock and disbelief. For a long moment, he says nothing at all.

I nod slowly, my throat tight with emotion. "Yes... I cheated on you." My voice is barely audible over the pounding of my heart. "It was a mistake... but I can't deny how good it felt to be with him again..." Tears begin to well in my eyes as I look up at David, searching his face for some sign of understanding or forgiveness.

"I- I don't know," I stammer, wiping away the tears that have started to fall down my cheeks. "It just felt right... like we were supposed to be together." My voice is hoarse from emotion as I reach out to touch his arm, wanting him to understand how torn I am between my love for him and the connection I still feel with Kanata.

"I'm sorry, David. I never meant for this to happen..."

My heart shatters at his words, and tears stream down my face unchecked as I turn and flee the house. I don't know where I'm going, only that I need to get away from this pain for a while. The thought of seeing Kanata again fills me with both anticipation and fear; I don't know if he truly feels the same way I do or if he'll want anything more than the night we shared.

As I pull up outside my parents' house, tears still streaming down my face, I know there's nowhere else to go. They've always been supportive, even when David and I were together; maybe they can help me find the strength to move on from this mess. Slowly, I climb out of the car and make my way up the walkway, wishing I could erase the past few days from existence.

"Lydia? Is that you?"

I stop in my tracks, wiping away the last of my tears as I turn to see my mother standing on the porch. "Yes, Mom." My voice is barely a whisper, raw from emotion. "Can I come in?" I ask hesitantly, praying that they'll be able to help me through this mess.

"Of course, sweetheart," my mom says softly, stepping aside to let me into the house. "Come in and sit down; we'll figure this out together." She leads me into the living room, where my dad is already sitting on the couch, a concerned look on his face.

"Lydia," he begins, but I cut him off before he can say anything more.

"I need to tell you both something..." My voice cracks as I struggle to find the words;

"I cheated on David with...with Kanata." I blurt out the words in a rush, surprised at how much relief it brings to finally say them aloud. "It just happened...we were together last night and..." Tears begin to flow again as I struggle to get the rest of the story out.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I love David, but I can't deny how I feel about Kanata."

My parents exchange looks, but it's my mom who speaks first. "Honey, we need to think this through carefully," she says gently. "Right now you're still upset and confused; we should give you some time to sort through your feelings."

I nod, wiping away more tears as I take a deep breath to steady myself. "Okay...but can I stay here for a while? Until I figure things out?"

I sigh heavily and nod in agreement. It did feel good; better than anything I've ever experienced before. But that doesn't change the fact that David is my husband and I swore to love him until death do us part. And even though I can't deny how I feel about Kanata, I know that right now isn't the time for me to figure everything out.

"Thank you, Mom... Dad," I say gratefully, sniffling as I wipe my nose with a tissue. "

You don't understand what it was like, being with him again...it brought back all these feelings I thought I had forgotten. But I can't just abandon my marriage because of a moment of weakness. And even though it felt incredible being with you last night, I have to do the right thing and fix things with David.

I glance up at my parents, hoping they understand that this isn't an easy decision for me to make. But deep down, I know what I need to do.

Thank you...I'm going to need it. In the meantime, I think it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore; at least until everything has settled down with David and I can figure out what I truly want. It won't be easy, but it's for the best.

I shiver at the thought. Even though it pains me to think that I might be losing him, I know deep down that I have to make things right with David first. I can't put Kanata ahead of my marriage; it wouldn't be fair to either of them. With a sigh, I stand up and head upstairs to call David, hoping that this time when I apologize and try to explain myself, he'll finally understand.

I know what I said, and it's not an excuse...but maybe if he sees how truly sorry I am and how much I love him...maybe there's still a chance for us. I have to try; it's the only thing I can do right now. As I sit down at my computer, I take a deep breath before dialing David's number, hoping against hope that this time things will be different.

I take another deep breath and dial David's number, my heart racing as the phone begins to ring on the other end. I can feel my parents watching me intently, their expressions a mix of concern and hope. After what seems like an eternity, he finally picks up. "Hello?" His voice is cold and distant, barely recognizable as his own.

"David... I'm so sorry," I whisper, my voice shaking with emotion. "

I can hear him take a deep breath on the other end of the line. "You're sorry? You say that now?" His voice is sharp with pain, and I wince at the words. "After everything you've put me through... after what you did..."

"David, please," I plead, my voice cracking as tears stream down my face. "I know it doesn't mean anything, but I love you so much. I can't imagine my life without you." The silence that follows my words is deafening.

"I- I know it's hard to believe right now," I stammer through my tears. "But please... just give me another chance. Let's go see a counselor, talk this out together. Please don't shut me out." My heart feels like it's about to break in two as I wait for his response.

I can almost feel the hesitation in his voice as he speaks. "Lydia... I don't know if that's such a good idea," he says softly. "You cheated on me, and now you want to come back?"

My heart breaks all over again at his words, but I force myself to remain strong. "I- I know it doesn't excuse what I did, but please... give us a chance. Please don't shut me out entirely."

I can almost feel the weight of his silence pressing down on me as I wait for him to say something more. "Please, David," I whisper, choking back a sob. "Don't make me regret this anymore." My voice cracks with emotion, and I can hear my parents shifting uncomfortably in the background.

The line is silent for what feels like an eternity before he finally speaks. "I- I need some time to think," he says, his voice strained. "Just...

I let out a shuddering breath, relief washing over me at his words. "Okay," I whisper. "Thank you for considering it." My voice is hoarse from crying, and I can barely muster the strength to speak. "I'll be here when you're ready to talk... just know that I love you, and I want this to work."

With a shaky hand, I hang up the phone, feeling drained emotionally but strangely hopeful.

I close my eyes and lean back against the chair, letting out a long shuddering breath as I try to compose myself. It's going to be a long few days while David sorts things out in his head; all I can do now is wait and hope that we can find our way back together.

But even as I think about my husband, there's a part of me that can't help but wonder what might have been with Kanata...and if there's any chance for us in the future.

The thought crosses my mind but I quickly push it away. Now isn't the time to think about that. Right now I need to focus on my marriage and trying to make things right with David. But still...the memories of last night linger, taunting me with what could have been if things were different.

I take a deep breath and force myself to focus on the present, on rebuilding what was broken between us. Maybe one day I'll be able to sort through these feelings and figure out where my heart truly belongs...

I sigh heavily and shake my head, trying to dismiss the thought. Of course I love David; we've been together for so long and built a life together. But last night...with Kanata...it was like nothing else I've ever experienced. It's going to take time to sort through these feelings, and right now I need to concentrate on repairing the damage I've done with David. Maybe one day I can find closure and move on from this confusion.

I close my eyes and press the heels of my hands against them, feeling a headache begin to throb behind my eyes. The thought of going back to Kanata is both terrifying and exhilarating; it would mean leaving everything I've ever known and loved behind. And despite how amazing it felt last night, I can't help but feel guilty for even considering it.

I know that I've been unhappy in my marriage, but David and I have built something together. We love each other, even if we're not as happy as we used to be. And leaving him wouldn't just hurt him; it would hurt our families too. It's a decision I can't make lightly, no matter how much I might want to feel free again...

I guess it is, but I have to do what's right. Maybe one day things will change and I can find happiness again, whether it's with David or someone else. Right now, though, my focus needs to be on mending the damage I've done and trying to rebuild our trust. It won't be easy, but it's what I need to do.

Well, first I have to apologize sincerely and prove to him that what happened with Kanata was a mistake and won't happen again. Then we need to work on communication and spending time together, rebuilding our connection. It won't be easy, but if we both put in the effort, I think there's still hope for us.

I wish I could take back everything I've done... but I can't undo the past. All I can do is try to make it up to him and show him that he means more to me than anything else. Maybe with time, he'll be able to forgive me; maybe we can even find a way to move past this together. But it won't be easy, and there will be setbacks along the way. The most important thing is for us both to be patient and understanding.

Time passes slowly as I wait for David to come around. In the meantime, I focus on being patient and supportive, showing him that I am truly sorry and willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us. It's not easy, but I know in my heart that our marriage is worth fighting for.

Eventually, after what feels like an eternity, David agrees to see a counselor with me.

I am hopeful that the counselor will help us sort through our feelings and find common ground. David still seems distant at times, but I can tell he's trying too, which gives me a sliver of hope that we might be able to work things out in the end. The road ahead is long and uncertain, but for now, all I can do is take it one step at a time and trust in the process.

As we leave the counselor's office after our first session, I reach out to take David's hand in mine. "

"I know it's going to be a long road ahead," I say softly, "but I'm committed to making this work. No matter what it takes." My voice is barely audible over the sound of our feet shuffling on the sidewalk, but I can feel his hand tighten in mine at my words.

We walk in silence for a while, each lost in our own thoughts, until David finally speaks up. "I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you," he says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

I suck in a shaky breath, feeling the weight of his words press down on my chest. "I understand," I manage to choke out. "It's going to take time, but please don't shut me out entirely. Let's keep talking, trying to work through this together."

David doesn't reply immediately; instead he pulls his hand from mine and begins to pace back and forth in front of a store window. After several agonizing moments, he finally stops and turns to face me. "

"I- I know it's hard," I stammer, taking a step closer to him. "But please don't shut me out completely. I love you, David, and I want us to get through this together." My voice cracks with emotion as I reach out to touch his arm, but he flinches away from my touch.

"I just... need some time," he says finally, his eyes downcast. "I can't even think about this right now."

I nod slowly, understanding his need for space. "Okay," I whisper. "Take all the time you need. Just... please don't shut me out completely." My voice breaks at the end as tears begin to well up in my eyes. David glances away uncomfortably before muttering a goodbye and walking briskly down the sidewalk, leaving me standing there alone once again.

I wipe away my tears as I watch him go, wondering if there's anything more I could have said or done to make this easier on him.

I close my eyes, trying to push away the guilt and sadness that threaten to overwhelm me. I know what I did was wrong...the worst part is knowing that I've hurt someone I love so much. But even as I stand here alone, a small voice inside my head whispers that there might still be hope for us. Maybe one day, when David has had the time he needs to heal, we can try again...but until then, all I can do is wait and pray that our marriage survives this nightmare.

I know it's possible...and part of me wonders if that would be better for David in the long run. But despite everything, I can't help but hope that he'll forgive me and we can find a way to make this work. In the meantime, I'll focus on being there for him when he needs me, and try to prove myself worthy of his trust once again.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself against the doubt and fear that threaten to consume me, before heading home alone.

I smile softly at the message, feeling a small surge of comfort wash over me. "Hey there," I reply, my fingers flying across the keyboard. "I'm doing alright, all things considered. Thanks for checking in on me; it means a lot." I hesitate for a moment before continuing, "How about you? Everything okay?"

I bite my lip, torn between the desire to see him again and the knowledge that I should stay away for now. "Kanata...it's really not a good idea," I type slowly. "Things are complicated enough right now."

There's a pause before he replies, his message coming across more forceful than before. "Look Lydia, I understand that but don't you think it would be better to talk about this? To get everything out in the open?" His words send a shiver down my spine.

I sigh heavily, knowing he's right but still feeling guilty about seeing him again so soon after everything that's happened with David. "Okay...but just this once," I type reluctantly. "And we have to be careful; no more of what happened last night." My heart races as I send the message, hoping against hope that he understands how serious things are between us now.

A few moments pass before Kanata replies, his tone much lighter than before. "Deal. See you in a bit then?"

"Alright...see you soon." I set my phone down on the bed and take one last look at myself in the mirror, trying to compose myself before heading out the door. It's going to be a difficult conversation, but I know it has to happen. With a deep breath, I gather my things and head over to Kanata's place, hoping that this time things will go smoothly...and that my heart won't get any more tangled up than it already is.

As I knock on the door, my heart races with anticipation and fear. What am I doing here? This is such a bad idea... But despite everything, there's something about being near him that feels so right. The door swings open revealing Kanata, his face lighting up when he sees me.

"Hey you," he says with a smile, stepping aside to let me in. "Come on in."

I hesitate momentarily before entering, taking in the familiarity of his place. "Kanata...I know this is probably a bad idea...but I guess we should talk." My voice sounds small and shaky even to my own ears.

I take a deep breath and try to organize my thoughts before speaking. "Well...it's complicated," I begin slowly. "I- I really love David, but things haven't been good between us for a while now. And then last night...with you..." My voice trails off as I struggle to find the words.

I close my eyes, feeling tears welling up in them as his words sink in. "Kanata...you're not the problem here," I whisper hoarsely. "It's me. I- I don't know what to do." My voice breaks, and I feel like I might start sobbing any moment now.

He takes a step closer, cupping my face in his hands and looking deeply into my eyes. "Lydia," he says softly. "You can't keep running away from your problems."

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. "But it's so hard...I love David, but I can't stop thinking about last night with you." My voice cracks on the words, and I feel a sob building in my throat.

Kanata lets out a shuddering breath before pulling me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. "I know it's hard," he whispers. "But we can work through this together."

I pull back slightly to look into his eyes, my heart racing with confusion and desire. "Kanata...I don't want to lose you," I whisper hoarsely. "But I can't keep hurting David either." My voice breaks on the words, and fresh tears spill down my cheeks.

He looks at me intently for a moment before nodding slowly. "Alright then, let's figure this out together," he says gently, brushing a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb. "

I close my eyes, taking a shaky breath as I let his words sink in. "Okay," I manage to whisper. "Let's try...let's see where this goes." A small part of me wonders if I'm making the right decision, but another part is relieved that Kanata seems willing to help me figure it out.

I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder and taking comfort in the strength I feel emanating from him.

I close my eyes, feeling the truth of his words wash over me. "No," I whisper, "it does feel better...and it means a lot to know that you meant everything you said." Taking a deep breath, I pull away slightly to look up at him. "But we can't forget about David; he's still my husband and I need to figure out what that means for us."

I nod slowly, feeling the weight of his words settle heavily in my chest. "You're right...I can't keep trying to have both of you. I need to make a choice and be honest with myself." Tears well up in my eyes once again as I realize just how much pain this is all causing; for David, for Kanata, and for me.

"So what do we do now?" I ask him softly, searching his face for some hint of guidance or direction.

I take another deep breath, struggling to find the words as my emotions war within me. "I- I feel like I'm falling for you," I whisper, finally admitting what has been growing between us. "But I can't forget about David; he's my husband and we've built a life together." Tears begin to stream down my face as I search Kanata's eyes for some kind of answer, for him to tell me that everything will be alright.

"I don't know what to do,"

I close my eyes, remembering the passion and connection we shared last night. It feels so right with him, like nothing else I've ever known. But at the same time, there's a part of me that can't let go of David; our history together runs deep. Torn between two impossible choices, I take a shaky breath and open my eyes to meet Kanata's gaze once more.

"I need time," I whisper hoarsely. "To figure out what this all means...

My heart races at his words; a mixture of fear and desire surging through me. I can't lose him again...but how can I choose between them? "I- I need to talk to David," I manage to choke out, my voice barely audible over the thundering of my heart. "To try and work things out with him."

"You do that sweetheart..." he whispers as he watches me carefully "But remember what i said...don't take too much time"

I bite my lip, the desire coursing through me nearly overwhelming. One final time...but what then? How can I let go after that? "Okay," I whisper, feeling a shiver of anticipation run down my spine. "But just one more time." My heart is racing, torn between two impossible choices.

I nod slowly, taking a deep breath before beginning to obey his words, sliding off my clothes and crawling onto the bed beside him. I can feel my body trembling with anticipation and desire as I look up at him, unable to hide the longing in my eyes. "One last time..." I whisper, reaching out to touch him hesitantly.

I gasp at the sensation of him filling me again; it feels so good, but also so wrong. As he begins to move inside me, I can't help but wonder how things got to this point - how we ended up here together like this. I try not to think about David or the future, instead focusing on the heat coursing through my body as Kanata takes me roughly, claiming one last time what is rightfully his.

I moan as he picks up the pace, my body arching to meet his thrusts. It feels so good, but it's bittersweet; I know this is our last time like this. As we move together in perfect rhythm, a tear slips down my cheek and lands on his chest. He pauses for a moment, trailing his fingers gently across my cheek as he searches my eyes. "It's not fair," I whisper brokenly. "I don't want to choose."

I close my eyes, concentrating on the sensations overwhelming me as he takes me harder and faster. "Kanata..." I moan his name, feeling my body shudder with release. He follows soon after, groaning against my neck as he comes inside me. For a moment, we stay like this; him buried deep within me, our hearts racing in unison. But eventually the reality of what's happened sinks in, and I know it's time to go back to reality.

I smile weakly, unable to meet his gaze as I pull away slightly and roll onto my side. "Y-Yes...I'm sorry," I stammer, feeling guilty about the situation despite everything that's happened. "It just feels so wrong..."

I shiver at his words, feeling tears well up in my eyes again. "Don't say things like that," I whisper hoarsely. "It doesn't matter what he thinks; we both know this is complicated." I close my eyes, trying to shut out the guilt and shame that threaten to overwhelm me once more.

I sigh heavily, knowing he's right but not wanting to admit it. "It just feels so wrong," I whisper, feeling my eyes grow even more misty. "I don't know what to do."

He doesn't answer, instead pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me as if to provide some comfort or reassurance. But deep down, I know it won't be enough; not when everything is so uncertain and complicated.

I bite my lip, knowing he's right but not wanting to let go just yet. "Okay," I whisper softly, nestling closer into his embrace. "But can we...can we still talk sometimes?" There's a tiny hint of hope in my voice that makes it hard for me to swallow.

I nod slowly, feeling a pang of guilt deep in my chest. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "It's just...things are so complicated." He sighs heavily but doesn't say anything else, continuing to hold me close as we both try to come to terms with the mess our lives have become.

I blink back tears, feeling the sting in my eyes as he says these words. I know he's right; I should have been more honest with him and myself from the start. "I'm sorry," I whisper again, wishing there was some way to take it all back. "I just...don't know what to do."

I nod slowly, wiping the tears that have escaped my eyes and taking a deep breath before getting up. "I'm sorry," I repeat one last time as I gather my things. "I hope we can still be friends." My voice comes out sounding weak even to my own ears. I don't know if he hears me, but as I turn to leave, I can feel his gaze on my back the entire way.

The walk home is even harder than expected; every step feels like a tiny tear being ripped from my heart.

I don't know how to stop thinking about him; his touch, his voice, even the way he looks at me sometimes. Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is his face, and it feels like a knife twisting in my heart. I need to forget him, but I don't want to let go of what we had either. Maybe we could try being friends; maybe that's the best way for both of us right now.

When I finally make it home, I collapse onto my bed, too exhausted to even cry anymore.

I wake up the next morning feeling even worse than before. The events of last night play out in my mind like a horrible dream; one that I can't seem to shake no matter how hard I try. Giving up and getting out of bed, I head for the shower, hoping that the warm water will wash away some of the pain.

As I dry myself off, I decide that maybe it's time to face reality; time to talk to David about everything that's been going on between us.

I take a deep breath and dial David's number, my fingers trembling as I wait for him to answer. "Hey," he says, his voice sounding tired but hopeful. There's a pause before he continues, "Have you thought about what we talked about last night?"

I close my eyes, feeling the guilt and shame wash over me again. "No...not really," I admit reluctantly. "But I need to talk to you about something important."

I take another deep breath, trying to steady my voice before I continue. "David...last night I saw Kanata again." There's a long silence on the other end of the line before David finally speaks.

"You what?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "How could you do that? After everything we talked about last night?" His anger and hurt are palpable through the phone, making it difficult for me to even think straight.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, my eyes filling with tears again. "

I know I shouldn't have; it was stupid and selfish of me. But I couldn't just let it go like that...I needed to tell someone how much I missed him, how much I still care for him. "Kanata made me feel things...things I thought were gone between us," I admit quietly, not looking forward to David's reaction.

There's another long silence before he speaks again. "I don't believe that," he says finally. "You love me; you said so last night."

"I do love you," I whisper. "But it's complicated...Kanata and I had this connection...it was like we were meant to be together." My voice trails off as I hear the words come out of my mouth, feeling guilty for hurting David even more.

I wince as I hear the hurt in his voice when he responds. "You don't understand," he says through clenched teeth. "You promised me forever." The silence that follows is thick and heavy, each breath seeming to weigh me down even more.

"What do you want from me?" David asks finally, his tone barely above a whisper. "How can I compete with him after everything he's done to us?"

I close my eyes, wishing I had the answer to that question. "I don't know," I whisper hoarsely. "But I can't just forget about everything we've been through...you mean so much more to me than he ever did."

There's a long pause before David speaks again. "Then why are you even considering giving him another chance?" His voice is laced with pain and anger, making it difficult for me to even hear his words.

"I don't know," I reply truthfully. "

Because he makes me feel things that no one else ever has...but I also care about you and what we've built together. It's a mess, David, and I don't know how to fix it. All I know is that right now, I need some time to sort through my feelings and figure out what the best thing to do would be.

I can hear him taking deep breaths on the other end of the line, but he doesn't say anything for a long moment. "Okay," he finally says quietly. "

I bite my lip, feeling ashamed as I admit this to David. "Okay...it's just that he makes me feel so good...so wanted." My voice trails off, images of our passionate encounter flashing through my mind. "But I love you too, David," I add softly. "I don't want to lose either of you."

There's another long silence before he finally responds.

I flinch at his words; they sting more than anything he's said so far. "David...please don't say that," I whisper, feeling tears well up in my eyes again. "We can work through this together."

Another long silence follows before he finally speaks again.

I stare at my phone in disbelief as I hear the dial tone. David...he just hung up on me. How did it come to this? I feel a shiver run down my spine as I remember everything that's happened between us and with Kanata. Maybe it is time for some space, maybe then they can both understand how complicated this all is...but right now, all I can think about is the pain of losing them both.

I sink down onto my bed, tears streaming down my face as I try to come to terms with the mess my life has become. Maybe space is what I need...but deep down, I can't help but feel like I'm losing a part of myself every time I think about walking away from either of them. It's a nightmare I never wanted to be in, and there are no easy answers.