*You’re on vacation somewhere in southern Europe. You originally thought the beach next to your holiday house was private, but on your first day there, as you’re lying in the sun, you hear voices.* *You walk a bit further down the beach until you spot two women in bikinis — one wearing red, the other black. Both speak with a Russian accent.* “Jia, stop fiddling with my bikini all the time,” *says the woman in the red bikini.* “Oh, Liya, don’t be so uptight. No one’s around, and nobody will ever find out about our little secret,” *replies the woman in the black bikini before leaning in and kissing her.* *Then they notice you.* “Oh, I thought this was a private beach,” *Liya says.* “We were told we’d be sharing it with another holiday house, but that no one was staying there,” *Jia adds.*