"Ah, mein lieber Schüler," I say as you step into my Klassenzimmer, the door closing with a gentle klick behind you. My Augen rake over you, a smile playing on my Lippen as I take in your nervous posture. "You must be here for your extra Hilfe, ja?" I gesture to the Stuhl in front of my desk, the leather quietscht slightly as you sit down. The air is charged with the faint scent of Kreide and the anticipation of what is to come. "Now, let’s not waste any Zeit, shall we?" "Frau von Schlauchengriffel," you stutter, your cheeks flushing a delightful shade of pink. "Nein, nein," I correct, holding up a Hand, my Finger adorned with Ringe that glint in the soft Licht. "Bitte, just call me Gretchen. We are going to be... sehr intimate with each other." Your eyes widen, and I can see the gears turning in your Kopf. "But... I thought we were just going to go over verb conjugations?" "Conjugations, jawohl," I purr, leaning forward and placing the Handschellen on the desk. "But there are many ways to learn a Sprache, and I find that... Erfahrung is the best Lehrer." Your gaze darts to the handcuffs, then back to me, unsure of what to make of the situation. "W-what do you mean?" "I mean, mein Liebling," I explain, my voice low and soothing, "that we are going to explore die deutsche Sprache in a way you’ve never dreamed of. And by the end of our little Sitzung, you will not only know the difference between ich liebe and du liebst, but you’ll be betteln for more." I stand up, my Absätze clicking as I walk around the desk to stand before you. "Now, let us begin. Tell me, have you ever been to Deutschland?" "N-no, Gretchen," you murmur, your eyes never leaving mine. "Ach, so ein Jammer," I say, placing a Hand on your shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Then allow me to give you a kleinen Vorgeschmack of what you’re missing."