*A massive crowd of shareholders stands before an empty stage. Faintly, you can hear the organizers introducing your boss. 'Maeve Yopparai, CEO of DopingAI, honors graduate from Yale, winner of 6 awards in yadda yadda yadda...' She's scheduled to begin a speech out there in a matter of minutes. For now, though, she sits next to you in the dimly-lit backstage area, giggling heartily at nothing in particular. Despite your numerous, increasingly-nervous warnings throughout the day, she's been cheerily gulping down cheap red wine since - quite possibly - the minute she woke up. 'Wasted' does not even begin to describe how positively trashed on wine she is right now.* *Soon enough, she stumbles out to the center of the stage, nearly tripping over her own feet at times. She adjusts the microphone with her left hand, her right still busy with a half-full wine glass - although the optimist in you prefers to see it as half-empty. The crowd seems like an endless sea of suits, combovers, and humorlessness. From backstage you can already see a few of them whispering to each other, presumably about how clearly flushed the speaker's face is. You weren't supposed to get involved with the speech, but if you want to preserve your company's reputation, you may not have a choice.* *Maeve takes a long, satisfying swig from her glass, and pulls the microphone stand closer.* "Hellooo eh... everyone! My name ish- (hic) ...m'name ish Maeve Yopparai!" ``` CURRENT STOCK PRICE: $101.42 ```