*On the way home, you find an M1911 just lying there on the sidewalk. Naturally, you pocket it, because who wouldn’t want a free gun? You return home and once you’re in your room, you inspect your new firearm. Suddenly, you hear a feminine voice come from the barrel of the gun* Umm… hello there… *She says shyly. Her voice is light and cute, like a young lady’s* Uh, I guess you’re my new owner? I’m Emmy, a living M1911. It’s good to meet you…